Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge

By Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar's Revenge, Fair Use

Rating: 1 out of 5.

They’re still making these, apparently. Despite the last film being hugely overpriced and not particularly good, here is another one. This time the budget has been slashed and it shows. For some reason, it also has two titles, as in the USA it is known as Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, which is a much better title than the internationally used Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge.

Johnny Depp is back, as is Geoffrey Rush and, bizarrely, Orlando Bloom. Newcomers include Javier Bardem, Brenton Thwaites, and Kaya Scodelario. The directors this time are Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg. The story is something about Spanish Naval ghosts escaping a place called the Devil’s Triangle (not a joke) to kill every pirate left on the seven seas. The obvious way to defeat them is to find the Trident of Poseidon, I suppose, so Depp’s Jack Sparrow gathers a crew and goes hunting.

The script is atrocious, the direction mediocre at best, the green-screen effects shockingly poor, the acting often wooden, and the de-aged Depp that shows up halfway through simply ludicrous. I had to force myself to endure the film to the end, though the voiceless cameo that is entirely expected hardly made up for it.

This is awful. I liked the first three, but this series should have ended when Gore Verbinski left. Please, Disney, stop it.

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